


it's okay to take time (yes he needs time)

by triviastar



Category: TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Angst, Hogwarts, Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, taehyun is a soft baby with a lot of emotions, yeonjun loves taehyun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-15
Updated: 2020-02-15
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:42:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22736644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/triviastar/pseuds/triviastar
Summary: "—hyung. don't you hate it? hate me?"
Relationships: Choi Yeonjun/Kang Taehyun
Comments: 4
Kudos: 82





	it's okay to take time (yes he needs time)

it isn't yeonjun's fault, it really isn't. taehyun understands, _it's your fault,_ a voice in him whispers. he tears his eyes away from the sight of two juniors gushing over choi yeonjun. _i know,_ he tells back the voice and continues with his potions essay. 

It's after curfew and taehyun puts on a few layers of warm clothing, owing to the steady fall in the temperature as the months crawled towards winter, more so in the nights, and tiptoed out of the ravenclaw common room (ignoring his deep urge to curl into a ball and warm up on the resident ravenclaw couch) and made his way to the library. considering it has been a good few years since the whole wizarding world war, the rules in hogwarts have slowly been pushed and pulled and tweaked and being in a few places after curfew was acceptable, with good reasons of course— although not to filch and definitely not to mrs norris who right away clawed at anyone's shoes who were out. 

exam season were looming over their heads and it wasn't uncommon to see even the loud rowdiest students making notes and burying their noses in the books, whispering under their breath to remember the list of ingredients and the colour the potions should be. being in fourth year, taehyun didn't have to worry too much, unlike the poor fifth and seventh years who broke a sweat and cried a bit inside (and outside) at the mere mention of OWLs and NEWTs. _laugh all you want, you're going to suffer next year kang taehyun,_ soobin's teasing and overly exaggerated voice from one of their breakfast conversation comes back to him and he pushes in down. that's a worry for one year older taehyun and he would not like to deal with it anytime before that. 

madam pince gives him a light lipped smile, not quite reaching her bespectacled eyes and goes back to muttering alphabets and arranges a shelf behind her. walking past a few tables sprawled with notes and drooping heads and ink spilled on books (taehyun winces and hopes the student cleans it up before madam pince has his head) and goes straight to the second last aile between the high shelves. 

"hyung." 

yeonjun looks up, eyes tired and soft blue hair covering his forehead, still wet from a shower and , smiles. taehyun likes it when yeonjun smiles. in between the ailes of shelves where it's quiet and void of the usual ruckus of the busy halls and milling student body where he doesn't have to stop himself from staring at him too long, where he can surround himself, unabashed, with all the attention yeonjun gives him and smiles and that slowly reaches his eyes and his cheeks life up and— yeah, taehyun likes his smile. taehyun likes his smile a lot and likes him even more. 

"had a good day? how was potions i heard beomgyu saying it's hard to catch up this year?" ,yeonjun asks as taehyun sits himself beside him, all this while pulling him closer by his shoulder. taehyun shifted his weight a little bit until his head rested over yeonjun's chest and curled up into his warmth. 

"mhmm, we're both having a bit of trouble with it. most of the grade is to be honest." , yeonjun's hand finds it's way up and softly runs his fingers through the younger's hair, "a lot of it is about time you know? i feel like even if i read the material more than five times i won't properly get a hang of it unless i get to brew it for at least once and then read the notes again. it's weird but that's how my brain works. i can't drill anything into my brain unless i can fully visualize it." 

yeonjun gives a soft understanding _hmm_. 

"you could ask your professor to use the room if it's free one day? a lot of people do that. i went there twice last year during my OWLs." ,taehyung picked up a loose end of a string from yeonjun's sleeve and fiddled with it.

"yeah i know but it's either filled with fifth and seventh years or i have other classes. plus it's intimidating to be there alone." ,the potions room was not his most favourite room. 

"oh yeah." ,a sudden shuffling was heard nearby and taehyun's body tensed and he pulled away from yeonjun, putting a little distance between them and only relaxed while it faded away and then returned back to the quietness. 

and yeonjun pulled him back into his arms. he always did. and taehyun loved him, but also hated him for that. moments like these were what made him apprehensive, as if waiting for a time bomb to go off at it's peak and burn and char his skin and soul and turn into ashes until his lungs closed on them and choked him and —there would be no one to blame because the one who set off the bomb was none other than his own self.

"hyung—" 

yeonjun didn't look at him, but taehyun could feel the hum of approval to continue from where his head rested against yeonjun.

"—hyung. don't you hate it? hate me?" , he says, _what goes unsaid :_ why don't you hate it when we have to hide our relationship? why don't you hate me when i pull away my hands and step a bit away whenever someone looks at us? why don't you hate me when i—

"taehyun ah…" ,voice soft, careful, as if they have had this conversation before (they have) ,"i told you i don't mind. i understand."

"why don't you mind hyung?" ,the faces of the two juniors flashes in his mind and he thinks if yeonjun were to date any one of them then he could show off and talk about her and be happy.

"im not dating you to show off im in a relationship taehyun-ah" ,yeonjun says as if hearing his thoughts. he shifts their position a bit, compromising the warmth they had acquired at their close proximity and gently places his palm on taehyun's cheeks.

"i know how scary coming out can be. so much more so with a relationship. i understand you're a pureblood and your family is conservative and they wouldn't understand loving a boy. they don't understand love taehyun-ah. i did the mistake and came out to the wrong people and then my family knew and it wasn't— still isn't— the most pleasant experience ever. it's okay to take your time. it's okay if you want to come out next year, or the year after, or after you're out of hogwarts and have a stable job— it doesn't matter to me. i just, you— you know i love you right? it doesn't matter to hyung. hyung just wants to love you taehyun-ah." 

_taehyun-ah ,_ he loved it when yeonjun called him that. he loved it when yeonjun would say his name and it felt like a weight on his shoulders that keep his feet to the ground and held him in place with the softest gentlest tones. yeonjun never raised his voice at him, always soft soft _soft._ tears pricked at the corner of his eyes and he nodded and buried his face in yeonjun's warmth as the other wrapped his arms around him. _take your time,_ that he could do, taehyun thought. he did need time. books abandoned, yeonjun pulled him closer — he should be scared about someone walking in right now — but for just a while he let himself be vulnerable and pressed a soft kiss against the other's lips. and then they sat there as the night ticked away, bringing the morning where they would have to stand apart a few feet away. 

**Author's Note:**

> i originally intended to write a full blown story but i don't know. if anyone wants a second part i could write it though. + i just wanna say it's okay to take your time to come out and wait to find the correct time and safe environment. you don't have to rush it and let no one pressurize into making you come out. it isn't always the most pleasant experience :/ but to all ones who are afraid to come out i send you all my strength and love and hope the world can pause and give you a bit more time <3


End file.
